“…That’s the dark side of Hampi.”

Training. It’s a pretty simple concept that I find myself writing more and more about as the weeks go by. In fact, it’s all I write about. All I think about. Every second of every day I find myself making a conscious decision to focus on one thing and one thing only: training. At this point I’m not even sure what I’m training for. Of course, yes, racing, and Ironman, and blah blah. But what is it really.

Over the past few days I think I’ve began to get a grasp on myself again. I starting to reflect on certain things in my day to day, and am realizing the roles each person and activity plays. Back to training.

In December of 2005, a man who had never met wrote the words: ‘This is your therapy.” He was referring to the sport of triathlon. All of it. The good, the bad, the interactions, the experiences and everything in between. 3 years later I find my lucky enough to call him my friend. In fact, I think he was the one to use the term first. He was right. This is my therapy and I am his friend. I run 18-mile runs and bike 100+ miles at a time and swim till I want to vomit. I hurt myself only to rebuild something. Not to make myself a better athlete, but to make myself a better person. To make sense of myself. To take my mind, which is thinking of a million things a second, and force it to focus on something simple. Something I know I can do well. Anyone who thinks I have it figured out is absolutely out of his or her minds! I’m a complete mess when it comes to things, most things.

So is this healthy? Is it proper? Self absorbed? Self-destructive? Sure, it’s all of the above. I grow because of it and I damage myself just the same. So why do it? Because one cannot pick and choose. One has to take the good and bad together.

A few years ago sports had a very different purpose. They kept me close with people. They made a culture for me, a place to call home. Today they seem to isolate me more and more. However I am becoming more and more aware that this is a result of my choices and actions. And if I expect it to change, another choice is what it takes.

There is a fine line between an unhealthy distraction and an outlet. I am not the first person to walk the gray area between the two, but I am starting to remember what this was all about.

A long time coming...

So after a few months it looks like it’s time for an update.

These past few months have not been the best. Personal troubles and death of close friends have made this year quite hectic. I think a general lack of motivation had fallen on my everyday. However, as the weather gets warmer my spirits are beginning to pick up and I’m really starting to get back onto what I would label a “healthy routine.”

Below are a few pics and a few short words to catch everyone up on all the happenings:

Cervelo Brain Bike 2008 – California

The trip out to California was one of the highlights of the year so far. 3 days of informative classes, bike rides, trips to the SDLS Wind Tunnel, and best of all Mid-60 degree weather. Can’t go wrong for late winter.

Solo Training

Sunday’s have become my get away from the world. I ride out to Harriman State Park, and up to Bear Mountain; this is quickly becoming my favorite part of training.

Round trip, just under 98 miles.

Gotham Girls Roller Derby

These ladies are amazing! And a long time friend has the ranks as one of their star athletes. If you are ever in NYC, you need to see this!

TOYS!

Yup, I’ve been pretty geeky about this one lately. I’m sending it back to SRM in Boulder, CO to get serviced, but it should be on the bike in time for the Mooseman Triathlon.

So that’s about it… I wish there was more to tell, and even though there always is, I’m sticking to the positive side of things. I’ll be heading out to California again on Sunday June 1^st. Stay tuned for more updates… they should be more regular now.